Horse Training should be about trust and connection with empathy

A good rule of thumb in equine training:

"If I do this to my horse, how would I feel if someone did it to me?"

"If I ask my horse to do this, how would I feel if someone asked me to do this?"

In my workshops, I often ask people to pair up, with one playing the horse and one the handler. Their task is for the handler to move the 'horse' around and for the 'horse' to feel what it's like to be a horse in that situation. Then they swap. The resulting discussions are usually emotional and poignant - almost always the 'horses' at times feel insecure, vulnerable and even frustrated and angry. Everyone leaves feeling more thoughtful, with more empathy for horses.

Reading comments on FB this morning, what Jenny Rolfe said stood out for me, "...how to become that FRIEND - trusted by the horse who enjoys responding to us - as we enjoy listening and learning from him - at soul level."

She's absolutely right and it's what connection and training with equines is all about. Gaining trust, friendship and willing partnership - not using force and coercion to create a frightened, miserable, shut down, obedient robot.

No one is perfect, all equines are individuals, training environments vary - what we can do is apply these rules of thumb to every interaction - and try to do our best for the wellbeing of equines we manage. They can't scream or cry - perhaps if they could, they wouldn't get treated so badly in so many situations.

The horse world needs to evolve to a kinder and more respectful place for equines. 

Pictured here: My stallion Bear (his story is told in my book Wild Stallion Whispering)  who won two world championships in international horse agility. Not by going along to a local class with no actual linked competition, but in year-long international video leagues, where the entries of global competitors were judged against each other. He was up against some formidable, liberty-trained competitors and we started from scratch, with him bolting away from the sight of an agility obstacle. Slowly and surely, we learned together, built trust in each other, and found out how to navigate myriad 'scary' challenging obstacles, on the line and at liberty.

The deadlines were monthly, sometimes with three different courses required (wild, on the line and at liberty). He very quickly taught me that if I became too 'competition oriented', ie, thinking of the video deadline rather than if he was ready to complete a new challenge - that this was not acceptable. It took the time it took and it required infinite patience from me (and him).

One thing stuck out throughout the two year competition period - he looked to me for safety. So when he did something that really challenged him, like jumping through giant hoops on his own, he would turn and come back to me immediately afterwards. If I excitedly praised him, he only saw my raised energy and, as he maybe saw it, my loss of calm. It really annoyed him and I quickly learned to suppress my excitement, stay very calm and say 'good boy Bear' quietly. This was the right response and he was then able to feel safe and proud of himself.

When you work with a horse at liberty, they are able to show you the truth - they can leave the situation whenever they want. IMHO it's the best way to learn and evolve willing partnership with an equine. Whether you go on to ride them or not.

These nuances in training - understanding each other, building trust, learning how to build a willing partnership - were the precious nuggets of learning. Not going faster and playing to an audience - but building genuine trust and partnership where the equine really enjoys the activities and feels pleased with themselves.

The natural 'sparkle' within an equine is born as a foal and is a wonderful thing to nurture. It is all too easy to extinguish with heavy-handed training - or handling. I had already faced a huge challenge winning Bear's trust as a weaned foal, as his first experience of human handling had been forced restraint by a group of handlers before six enormous hot branded marks were plastered over his shoulder and rump. This instilled a fear of people in him that was was really challenging to overcome. He is still deeply suspicious of people he doesn't know and trust.

With regard to agility, when I experienced some attempts at bullying and coercion myself, I decided it was time for me and the ponies to leave the sport. Up until that point, I really enjoyed my time of learning and think that, when this activity - like any other - is conducted with the wellbeing and enjoyment of the equines in mind - it's great. I was lied about and trolled as a result, but I know I did the right thing to walk away at that point. My ponies wellbeing comes first, and so does mine.